Five Behaviors That Help Us Heal
Many of us are unable to overcome our struggles with pain, anger, and unresolved negative emotions. We develop behaviors that keep us from healing and create anxiety such as: gossiping, judgment of ourselves and others, the need to control, and negative self-talk. One way to begin the healing process is to use conscious intent to create new habits that replace the ones that don’t work. Applying conscious intent means mindfully choosing an intention each day. For example, I release the need to judge myself and others. It is the act of bringing a thought into the conscious moment and creating intent.
Our habit of gossiping is energetically connected to feeling powerless. When we talk about others — exposing people’s secrets or spreading rumors— it gives us a false sense of importance and shifts the focus away from our own experiences. For most, there is no malicious intent in the habit. In fact, people are unaware of why they even want to engage in gossip. A way to shift that behavior is to begin your day with conscious intent by speaking positively about people, no matter what others are saying. Each time you find yourself encouraged to engage in gossip, respond with something positive or redirect the conversation onto something else. You will empower yourself and others by finding a positive aspect.
Judgment is a common behavior in which we all engage. Judgment is energetically connected to the fear of being wrong. Judgment is always about the person making the judgment, and never about the person being judged. We are taught to judge from an early age and frequently tell ourselves, “I am judging out of love.” To transform the energy, use conscious intent and when you judge the behavior or choices of another person, exhale, allowing the judgment it to lift from your body. Replace the thought with something loving. Do it every time, no matter what. No judging, even if you think that it’s out of love.
Anxiety keeps us from being in the moment. Anxiety is energetically connected to fear of failure and loss. We create energetic barriers by mentally projecting into the future, outcomes to events that have not yet occurred. The result of creating anxiety is a feeling of constant dread that paralyzes us. The habit is a way of affirming fearful, negative results. Even when failure comes through someone else’s setback, like our children or family members, we are certain that we are responsible. To shift this pattern, use your intent and focus on the moment you’re in. Feel your body connect to the ground while noticing your heart beat and allowing your lungs to fill with air. Stay present and release the future.
Control issues stop us from experiencing life as it happens. Control is energetically connected to low trust threshold. We don’t believe things will work out without our intervention. Our habit to be in control does not allow life to flow. We lock the energy up tight and take on responsibilities of others exhausting ourselves and limiting those around us. Using conscious intent, affirm trust in the process of life and allow others control even when you see they may fail.
Negative self-talk can be constantly debilitating. Negative self-talk is energetically connected to an inability to stay in the seat of our authentic self. The pattern keeps us from speaking our truth to others out of fear that we are not good enough. To drive out the fearful voice and shift the behavior, use conscious intent and at the first negative self-thought, stop. Visualize your mind crossing off the thought as though written on a blackboard. Write or state a new positive thought. Breathe out the old thought and take its power away.
The exercise can be done in five minutes or you can incorporate it with meditation for longer periods. Find a comfortable place to sit or recline. Focus on breath as it fills your lungs to capacity, and then simply let it go. Notice your body relax with each exhale. Stay with your breath for several minutes. Bring your focus from your mind’s eye to the center of your chest. Feel this area expand and open like a flower. You may feel fluttering, tingling, or tightening. You may even feel mild pain. Stay with your breath while you focus on the heart center. Feel love flow from your heart out into the world. Breathe that energy for a few moments.
Next, mentally speak your intent, “I release fear, anger, resentment, sadness, etc,” or “I respond with love, compassion, patience, understanding, etc.” Repeat your intent as you breathe. Visualize a funnel of light that begins at your heart center and opens upward toward the heavens. Affirm your connection with God, spirit, or divine self. Breathe. When you’re ready, close your hands and hold the energy within you. Know that you will carry your intention throughout the day. If during your day you forget to practice your intention, don’t worry, simply reaffirm your intention mentally and anchor the thought in your heart.