February 24, 2013

                                                Whose voice is that anyway?

    Minty toothpaste slipped from my lips in a pasty glob hitting the sink with a satisfying splat. Glancing at my own reflection I thought, you are so ugly. Suddenly, I recognized why I’d avoided mirrors! I didn’t want to look at myself because my self-talk told me I was ugly every time! I was stunned by my discovery.

      Have you ever wondered whose voice runs in our head like a ditty we despise but can’t stop? For some of us, the debilitating speak is so old, so common, that we accept the hateful thoughts as our own. 

          After that morning I couldn’t ignore the negative voice than looped in my mind. You better be careful, I’d think, you’ll make the wrong decision. The crippling thoughts ran wild.  I should have known better, I’m such an idiot. I don’t try hard enough, I’m not pretty, I’m too fat, I’m not smart enough, nobody likes me, I’m a crappy mother, I will always be alone, I’m a loser, I will always be broke, and the fearful negative talk went on and on.

     Where do we adopt these limiting thoughts that create feelings of un-worthiness? More importantly, why do we give them power? Maybe we will never discover the origins of our self-hate and I don’t think it matters. What does matter is to recognize that WE are in control of the self-talk. We don’t have to listen to the nasty un-supportive voice, we can replace it with the, I love myself unconditionally voice!

     One of my favorite teachers of this positive way of thinking is Louise L. Hay. She wrote a book decades ago called, “You Can Heal Your Life.” It’s a must read.  I gave the book to a dear friend of mine who kept it for fourteen years before she was ready to read it. When she became exhausted with her un-loving thoughts and negative beliefs, she began to silence her fearful self-talk and replace the doom and gloom predictions with, “I trust in the process of life” and “I am worthy of love.”

     Since we are all individuals and resonate to different things, it might not be a book that shifts your inner-speak and that’s ok. But, if you start today with one loving thought about yourself and banish the negative one, you will begin a shift. If you stay with the decision that a negative thought will be immediately replaced by a loving thought, your life will change and we will have begun our transformation.

    And if we refuse the hateful self-talk and allow only positive self-speak, we strengthen our inner voice one thought at a time. I love myself, I trust in the flow of life, I give and receive unconditional love….